Roller Coaster

As many of you know, this week has been a crazy roller coaster for me. I guess I should start from the beginning and make it easier to follow.

Monday evening (Uganda time) I'm talking with Brad on skype like I usually do on evenings.  Talk of home and family, and my Ugandan life are talked about, and I'm not quit sure how but my Granma came up in conversation and I really felt like I had to ask the hard questions. I asked Brad to be honest with me and tell me what he knew about what was going on with my Granma and her health. He was honest, and it wasn't good, at all. To make the story short, she had given up the week before Easter, and was admitted back into the hospital and taken off treatment not too long after that.
I've never been so torn in my life. I didn't know where I should be, OR where God wanted me to be. I wanted to to stay in Uganda, I'd worked so hard to get there and be there that I felt like if I was to leave now I wouldn't have won the fight. So like I'd done for the past 4 weeks, I cried out to Jesus. I begged Him to show me where I should be, what He wanted from me. He knows my heart and He knows deep down where my heart should be. I went to bed knowing that God was in control and all I could do was trust that He'd make the decision for me.
Tuesday morning (Uganda time) I wake up to 2 text messages from my parents saying tat my Granma had passed away Monday afternoon (Canada time) so the time I was talking with Brad basically. I knew right then that I had to be home. I knew that God wanted me home, and that He'd help me get past not staying in Uganda. Another reasurring way of knowing He wanted me home, was that I had a plane ticket that night in 3 hours of knowing my Granma had passed. God is good, even in bad times.
Coming home was not what I expected. Everyone cared I was home, but they had some many things on their plates already they didn't have much time to ask me how my trip was or even how I was doing. Jet leg and culture shock hit me hard, and I broke down Friday morning. With support from friends and talking it out I understood better what was happening in my head and my heart. This of course wasn't going to be easy to come home to. I hadn't prepared myself for coming home, and also I wasn't coming home to the normal, I was coming home to K-OS!
It's now Monday morning, (Canada time) and the memorial has passed and so has my jet leg. I still can't believe the woman I loved and held onto is gone. You never realize how important something is to you until it's gone. My Granma and I shared a great love for each other, and I think we both thought each other was just the best thing. She helped me get through some tough years of my life, and it's sad to think I can't pick up the phone and ask her for help again. I know she will always be with me, and I know she deserves to be where she is, with Jesus walking on streets of gold, partying for eternity. I never realized until now how in control God is of our lives, and how easy it is for Him to take it away. It's kinda mind blowing to me.

In saying all of this. I"M HOME! So this will be my last blog post until my next adventure, which may not be for a while. Or until I find something else to blog about. I've enjoyed my time, thank-you for ALL of your support and prayers. I've felt every one of them. I still need prayer, and I might for a while, so please keep it up!! I love you all, thank-you again.

Love Brenna